no one will do…

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No One Will Do
Mary J. Blige

Seen many men in my time
But none of them compare to mine
I ain’t gotta knock on wood
To tell y’all that I got it so good
He’s everything that I need and
All that a man should be

Put me on a flight if I wanna
Buy out the mall if I wanna

And I know you’re hurting for
These same old metaphors
My love is so much more
I don’t wanna change it
I don’t wanna do without ya baby
Cause he’s just above the rest
I must confess the best
Love that I’ve ever had
And I just gotta let you know this

Don’t let ‘em tell you nothing different
You’re the only one I’m needing
I don’t want no one but you
Baby no one will do
And what they say don’t even matter
They don’t know what I know about ya
I don’t want no one but you
Baby no one will do

It’s me and him through the wire
Cause when it comes to love he delivers
My personal UPS
I’m sending him and SOS
That I love him and I want him
And I don’t wanna replace him with nobody else
I’mma keep holding on
I’mma keep the loving strong, ayayyyy

And I know you’re hurting for
These same old metaphors
My love is so much more
I don’t wanna change it
I don’t wanna do without ya baby
Cause he’s just above the rest
I must confess the best
Love that I’ve ever had
And I just gotta let you know this

This is for the one and only man that I have reserved a special place in my heart for.  Yeah, it may be a little corny that I’m dedicating a song to you, but it has a lot of great lines (bold) in it that made me think of you today.

I want to let you know that you’ve been crossing my mind a lot lately…whoever you are.  I have been praying for you–waiting patiently and eagerly anticipating the day when we talk about the things the Lord is doing and has done in our lives.  I wonder sometimes if you know or sense me praying for you–I hope so. 

I want to let you know that I have set aside a special place in my heart and in my life for you that no one has ever had access to.  My love and affection for you is completely in tact and I can now say with a smile on my face that I have never loved another because I only wanted to love you.  Don’t get me wrong-opportunities to be in a relationship came and went, but my desire to give you all of me superceeded even the greatest of temptations. 

The road has been long (although some may think it short), 23 years.  During this time I have been through a lot–the death of my father at age 7, the struggle to have relationship with my step-father ever since I was 10, financial struggles, personal struggles.  I have been supporting myself financially (with the exception of my tuition for high school and the first semester of college) since the age of 16.  I have learned to do many things on my own–buy a car, maintain my car, pay my bills, have a financial plan for my future, start a business, get out of debt.  I am still finding my way through this thing I call life and sometimes I find myself not wanting to do it alone anymore. 

By the grace of our God I have been surrounded by good friends–many of them (not all) are in relationships or are even married.  Each and every one of them has always invited me to hang out with them and has never made me feel like the third wheel–but at times I feel like the third wheel.  It’s on those occasions that I wish you were in my life already.  Truthfully, it’s on those occasions that when I get home and go into my room–closing and locking my door behind me–I sometimes cry into my pillow.  I cry because I’m alone (although never really alone because the Lord is always there) and because my heart yearns to have you near me.  I cry to my Father because at that moment I am overwhelmed and need help remaining patient while waiting for you.

I have had several conversations with our God about you.  Haha, I laugh when I think back to some of the things that I have shared with the Lord that were in my heart regarding you.  I’m sure one day you’ll find out, but in the meantime, it’s a secret between Him and I.

A few other things…

I was mentioning to a best friend of mine in an email yesterday about how I am a little nervous to meet you and be in a relationship with you.  Just read below:

“Somehow my mind went to being in a relationship with someone and I got nervous…

I caught myself saying…Lord…i don’t know about this…im nervous and feel really uncomfortable because I have never done this before…im 23 and have no experience whatsoever and I feel like im going to make a fool out of myself and not be a good girlfriend because I don’t know what it is to be a good girlfriend…i said, Lord, I know that you have been preparing me, but im nervous to be ready…i have bubble guts. I really don’t want all eyes on me and all that added pressure…

So weird dude…i got nervous and afraid and unsure of what I have to offer someone”

Then my girlfriend wrote the following to me…totally building me up and reminding me of who I really am:

“You have a ton to offer silly girl. The power of an intercessor, encourager, everything a Proverbs 31 woman is. Nothing to worry about. He is our peace and our guide. We’re not supposed to know what we’re doing anyway so that He can be author of our story.”

….to which I had to let it out one more time in a ‘reply’ email before I came to myself:

“True…but how silly do I look as a 23 year old who doesn’t know how to let a guy pay for her food…let him go before me to open a door…i mean…man…i would expect these things…yes…but just the ackwardness of it all for me…and then what if that doesn’t happen? What am I supposed to say then?

Ive been on my own so long and taking care of myself so long and paying for myself for so long that it feels weird and I feel like I could and might be giving off that vibe…u know what I mean?

How do I encourage a man to lead…i mean I would want him to make decisions and yet I don’t want to seem like im always indecisive when im asked what I want to do and I say “that im down for doing pretty much anything”

I must sound really stupid right now…but thanks for sticking with me and reading”

Needless to say, my best friend totally encouraged me and set me straight in regards to this situation and in regards to you.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed–if you can’t tell already–at the fact that I am a complete novice in this area and that I may mess up horribly.  I pray that the Lord gives you patience with me.  It’s a situation where you are going to step up as the man in my life and lead me.

These are the things that I know about you so far…

You are an amazing man of God who will exemplify in the flesh the love and affection that the Lord has towards me…His most precious and beautiful princess.  You are a natural born leader who thrives on being able to lead and direct, even in the most difficult of situations (you always rise to the occasion!).  Although you have had your share of trials and temptations, you have always kept your eyes on the Lord or redirected them towards Him in the event that they strayed from Him momentarily.  You are a man of honor, dignity and respect.  The elders and even those younger than you look up to you as a man of wisdom and vast knowledge.  You are a man who loves family and desires one day to have a large family of your own.  I know that you are a mighty man in every sense of the word, and yet I know that you have and express all the fruits of the spirit…especially meekness (controlled strength).

I laugh at the fact that I have read a few books, namely ‘Wild at Heart’ and ‘Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men’ so that I could get a better understanding of men and of you in particular.  Although these books cannot tell me everything, they have helped me understand a few of your inner workings.  You are definitely built and wired completely different than me…that’s a good thing too!

I want you to know that even though our paths may have never crossed (or maybe they have and I just don’t know it), that I love you.  I believe in you and I can’t wait to hear about your dreams.  I know that the things that we are persuing individually–those things that the Lord has placed within us that drive us towards successful and blessed futures–are things that will coincide with one another. 

No one but you will do.  I have set it in my heart that I will only give my all and my everything to you.  I’m standing on the word of our God that says, “He that findeth a wife finds a good thing.”  So with that…find and then choose me already!!  🙂

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~ by visionaryvanguard on Thursday, 2007 July 19.

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