wife swap: r u serious right now?!…

Let me start off this blog by saying that reading the following may make you pissed off.  If you have high blood pressure or get irritated easily I would prefer that you stopped reading this blog and move onto the next one. 

The following information is disturbing, disgusting, and down right irritating to the bone.  This stuff makes me want to slap someone (especially this mother) and then kick her daughter…you’ll see what I mean if you continue to read below. 

The following is information that I grabbed from the ‘Wife Swap’ website.  I think that you can actually watch this whole episode in the archives on the link below.  The original information is in black and my comments are added in red and are in bold for added irritated and irate effect. 

wife-swap.jpg

Wife Swap on ABC

Upstate New York mom Karen Guastaferro (54) has made her home fit for a queen — a pageant queen that is. A former pageant contestant herself, Karen waits on her daughter Alicia (15) hand and foot. Their home is a shrine to beauty, pageant trophies and sparkle. Alicia has been winning pageants since she was 11 months old and says she “feels sorry for anyone who’s not gorgeous.” (R U SERIOUS?!) 

Anything Alicia wants, Alicia gets, including a gift every single day under the Guastaferro’s year-round Christmas tree.  (FRIGGIN A…WHAT KINDA CRAP IS THIS?!  WHAT THE…?!)  Ralph (61) works tirelessly to keep up with Alicia’a $100,000 a year pageant lifestyle. He loves his pageant princess and wants to make her happy all the time, allowing her “choreless” schedule of pageants, social activities and cheerleading to run their lives. At school, Alicia is one of the most popular girls, and the family embraces that, playing chauffeur to her and all her friends.

 THE FOLLOWING ARE A FEW QUESTIONS THAT THE MOTHER ANSWERED…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

When do the kids do their homework and who helps them?
Alicia is a very smart girl.  (THAT’S A LIE…ESPECIALLY WHEN THE OTHER MOM WHO SWAPPED IN TO ALICIA’S FAMILY ASKED HER TO MENTION A FAMOUS WOMAN AND SHE ANSWERED OPRAH.  THEN SHE ASKED HER TO MENTION ANOTHER FAMOUS WOMAN AND SHE SAID…GET THIS…SHE SAID “THE WOMAN ON THE BUS”  WHAT THE CRAP?!  I THINK THAT EVEN MY LITTLE SISTER AND BROTHER KNOW WHO THE ‘WOMAN ON THE BUS’ IS…HER NAME IS ROSA PARKE ALICIA…GET IT RIGHT AND REMEMBER THAT.  BUT HERE’S THE KICKER FOLKS…WHEN THE OTHER MOM ASKED HER WHAT ROSA PARKS DID, THIS 15 YEAR OLD GIRL [MIND YOU SHE’S 15!!!] SAID, “SHE STANDED UP FOR HER RIGHTS.  YES…I DID NOT MAKE A GRAMMATICAL ERROR THERE…SHE DID SAY ‘STANDED.’  R U KIDDING ME?  I ALMOST SLAPPED D’ANDRE ACROSS THE FACE BECAUSE I WAS SO UPSET.  I HAD TO GET UP AND WALK AWAY FROM THE TV FOR A BIT TO JUST GET OVER THAT SENTENCE RIGHT THERE.  PLEASE CONTINUE READING BELOW…IT JUST GETS BETTER)  She always has intelligent answers to difficult pageant questions. School is important to her because she wants to become an orthodontist and make people sparkle.

Alicia usually does her homework around 8 or 9 at night while talking to her friends on the phone (COME ON R U KIDDING ME?!). If she needs help her with her homework Ralph and I will help her together. Alicia is a perfectionist and does not want to look bad to her teachers or peers. If she hasn’t done her homework for a particular class (PROBABLY BECAUSE SHES ON THE PHONE WHILE DOING THE HOMEWORK) then she stays home from school so she doesn’t get in trouble.

We want Alicia to get good grades but school projects can take too much time, especially with all of her extra-curricular activities. To help her out Ralph and I have done all of her school projects for her (NO WONDER THIS GIRL IS AN IDIOT…I HATE TO CALL HER NAMES BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY SAW THIS EPISODE OF WIFE SWAP THEN YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT). My favorite projects to do for her involve arts and crafts. One of my favorite projects I’ve done for Alicia was a miniature church that I spent two weeks and hundreds of dollars building complete with pews and worshippers. We do not mind spending thousands of dollars on her projects as long as they look good and she receives a good grade. I spend time at work doing any research she needs for term papers and then I give the information to Ralph to type up. (THIS GIRL IS GOING TO BE A WALKING GINORMOUS DO-DO [A TERM RENEE GAVE ME]).  If she has projects that involve design or drawing one of our staff members does them for her because they are great artists. (THIS GIRL’S PARENTS ARE ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS THAT I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE WORDS TO SAY RIGHT NOW)  Teachers are always very impressed with her projects and she enjoys taking credit for them. When you look as good as Alicia having brains is just an added bonus. (ALICIA HAS NO BRAINS SO THERE IS NO ADDED BONUS!!!)

What are the kids forbidden to do?
Alicia is not forbidden to do anything. We strongly believe in NOT sheltering our children from the world. My mother lived with us until Alicia was 10 and was her primary caretaker. Now that she is older it is fun for Ralph and I to raise her and experience life together.

Our daughter is very popular and I think being well-liked and admired by others is very important. I always tell Alicia if someone doesn’t like you it’s probably because they are jealous.  (WHAT KIND OF FOOLISHNESS IS THIS?  R U KIDDING ME?!  HOW OLD ARE YOU LADY?!  R U PLAYING LITTLE TEENAGER GAMES OR WHAT?!)

Alicia loves to attend school dances and the boys line up for a chance to dance with her. On any given night she can dance with up to 30 boys. We are proud to have a daughter who is so popular and gets along with people easily.

If she decides to date a boy then we like to meet him and make sure he comes from a good family. When Alicia gets older and is ready to marry we expect that he will be someone that is able to buy her nice things and provide her with the life she is accustomed to.  (SHE TOTALLY DESERVES SOMEONE WHO IS AS SPOILED AND IRRITATING AS SHE IS…)

Alicia does not have a curfew and if she did we would not enforce it. When she is out with her friends she calls to tell us her plans when she needs to be picked up.

How often do you speak to your children during the day?
Alicia is constantly on her phone. She has two cell phones now but at one point we gave her three cell phones to try and keep up with all of her friends. (THREE PHONES ARE YOU KIDDING ME…HAVING TWO PHONES IS JUST RIDICULOUS…BUT THREE…COME ON!!)  On any given day she can receive over 150 text messages. She uses a wireless phone headset so she can talk to her friends and watch TV at the same time. (I’M AMAZED THAT THIS GIRL CAN MULTI-TASK…I WONDER IF HER MOM HAS TO WIPE HER BUTT).  We speak to her as often as we can. She calls me everyday from school at exactly 11:40 a.m. When she goes out she calls us at least once to talk casually and gossip and of course she always calls us to coordinate when she and her friends need to be picked up.

What are your views on cleaning?
Appearance is everything and that extends to our home. Ralph and I like to keep the appearance of a presentable house, especially in areas where we might have company. Cleaning, especially downstairs where guests might visit, is a part of our regular routine. I hate dirty, messy houses. I could never live like that. Even though I never cook at home I like to keep the formal dining room table set year round. When it comes to chores my husband and I do all of them.. Cleaning a house should not be a child’s responsibility.  (DUDE…YOU KID IS GOING TO REGRET YOU NOT TEACHING HER HOW TO DO ANYTHING WHEN SHE GROWS UP.  SHE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO LIFE SKILLS…BUT THANK GOD FOR THE OTHER MOTHER…SHE WAS BREAKING THROUGH TO TEACH HER A FEW THINGS AT LEAST)

How do you discipline the kids?
We have never disciplined Alicia. The word “grounded” or “no” is not a part of her vocabulary (POOR ALICIA…BEING SET UP FOR FAILURE FROM THE BEGINNING). We believe in positive reinforcement and reward Alicia with clothing and other presents for her good behavior. There is no point in taking things away from her as punishment. Doing that would make her angry and upsetting Alicia is not going to teach her anything  (OH, COME ON!!!).

I should probably have more grace and patience with this girl, but it’s so hard for me.  I think that you would know where I am coming from if you actually watch this episode.  Why do they let people on tv that are like this?  I feel sorry for Alicia becuase this totally highlighted the fact that she isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed…in fact I’m not even sure if she would be a tool that someone would use in the shed.  Sad…just sad…

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~ by visionaryvanguard on Monday, 2008 January 7.

8 Responses to “wife swap: r u serious right now?!…”

  1. You crack me up by how fired up you get! Yes down with BEAUTY QUEENS

  2. I feel your pain! This episode was quite upsetting… one hour of my life that I will never get back.

    One thing I did learn from this show – sparkle is everything. In life, we must sparkle or die! Life is not worth living if there is no sparkle. Make it a sparkle day!!

  3. I saw parts of this episode and shrug to the fact that parents will treat their little darlings as LITTLE DARLINGS at the age of 15. I won’t be a bit surprise if she will be the LITTLE DARLING until she goes to College. Oh my God. Who am I kidding, she’s going to college? Oh yeah, her parents will be doing all her projects.

    The scary part about this realization is that this is not an isolated case.

  4. this ralph guy owns eclipse tint in clarence NY i got my windows tinted there WIERD GUY LOADED BUT WIERD LOL

  5. These people just had their home raided by the FBI and IRS!

    Link: http://www.buffalonews.com/cityregion/story/691020.html?imw=Y

  6. You go on and on about this and PROMISE a effin link to the episode…. where is this so-called link??? Who is stupid now??? IDIOT!

    • you know…if you would have clicked on the title that’s right below the picture it would take you there. unfortunately you are going to have to do some work and look for it within the wife-swap families site…

      try to do the work next time before you start criticizing and being negative.

      thanks!

  7. Ok, we are slow here in Oz (Australia) the episode only screened last night. Funny though, something about timing, we also recently introduced our boys to Matilda, first the book, then the movie, and these parents remind me of the Wormwoods, “you chose books, I chose looks” and, “I take great pride in my appearence, well oiled hair, a nice suit….” hehehe. One thing you didn’t mention is when the swap mother told her to check the spelling of America, ahhh, scary. I was really sad for this poor girl, I just don’t know how she could possibly survive unless her parents also give her a job, remember, she only lasted about half an hour as a server at a restaurant. Wormwoods, eat your heart out, you have come to life.

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