taking chances, giving freedom…

•Saturday, 2008 October 18 • Leave a Comment

16 June 2008 Scripture: Acts 9:26-28

When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple.  But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.  So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely…


Paul is a new convert to Christianity.  The fact that Paul is a new convert is a feat in itself.  He went from being a persecuter of the church, someone who would beat, enprison and hunt for Christians, to someone who was completely changed by God…a 180 flip.  We see in this scripture that Paul is traveling and looking for fellow Christians but no one wants to befriend him or give him a chance.  Barnabus takes a chance, to the point of risking his life (in his eyes) to vouch for the validity of Paul and the word that the Lord has put in his mouth and brings him before the other disciples.  These disciples, with the heart of their Lord, Jesus  give Paul the benefit of the doubt and mentored him.  Paul was not looked at as a baby Christian, but as someone who’s fruit (the strong word of the Lord in his mouth) enabled him to be amongst the greatest of men.  They did not keep him from preaching because he was not a Christian for his entire life, but they gave him freedom…


I am guilty of judging people like the Christians who would not believe nor have anything to do with Paul.  But I also have been on the side where I have befriended people who were once considered my enemy.

Right now in my life I am in a place where I am allowing the Lord to renew my mind and give me more grace and mercy to turn and actually approach an old and former friend of mine.  I was hurt very bad by her and although I thought I completely released the situation to the Lord, I obviously have not.


Lord, help me to forgive and forget like Jesus.  Help me to get out of my comfort zone and please help me find the courage to approach my old friend so that our once friendship can be reconciled.  Amen.


my first painting in a long time…

•Monday, 2008 September 22 • Leave a Comment

Just thought I would share this painting with you!  This is my first acrylic painting that I have done in a looooong time.  

I’ve always wanted to try prophetic painting so first thing in the morning a few Saturdays ago I took my drop cloth, my easel, my paints, and a canvas out into my backyard…I turned on my iPod to some worship music from Brian and Jenn Johnson, worshipped for awhile, picked up my brush, and painted what the Lord showed me.  

This whole process was pretty cool…something I would recommend anyone to try!  It’s definitely a great way to start off your day and whole weekend for that matter.

Let me know what you think!

growing impatient…

•Tuesday, 2008 September 16 • 1 Comment

If you haven’t noticed already…it’s been several weeks if not months since I last posted.  

Reason:  my computer caught a horrific virus while I was looking up Bobby Lee youtube videos (yes…somehow it happened while on youtube Renee).


Things in my life haven’t been the same since that fateful day…and I have been missing this blog horribly.  So here I am, sitting on my couch in the living room with only the sound of the ticking clock inside the entertainment center as background noise.


The house is empty and I am totally savoring these few quiet moments–no music, no tv, no phone…


‘So what have you been up to lately?’ you may ask…


Well, I managed to read about 4 books within a 2 week time span…I practiced some prophetic painting last weekend and absolutely loved it…I’ve been preparing to share at “Intimate 2008” (a young women’s conference at my church)…I’ve played with my dog Dakota…I’ve dreamed about doing comedic improv at random places, all the while convincing my friends to record me 😉 …


I can sense someone asking ‘Why did you call this blog “growing impatient?” 


Well, since my computer crashed I haven’t really been able to keep my life posted via my blog and share it with the world.  I have secretly been really depressed in a way and have been mourning the loss of my computer.  I have this problem of my brain going too fast and processing things so fast that I get frustrated when trying to journal my thoughts on paper.  I can’t write fast enough and to tell you the truth, I have given up many times.  The computer gives me so much freedom to just free write all of my thoughts…all the while my fingers can keep pace with my brain. 

I am growing impatient for a new computer that I could not only blog on, but also edit some of my short form content and get a video blog and or potcast going…

Se la vi I guess for the moment…

Sometimes I feel stupid for keeping my eyes peeled and my expectations high that maybe someone will bless me with a new computer…where they would take me shopping for the exact computer that I have had in mind all along.  Am I stuipd?  Is it just wishful thinking?  

Bahhhh…how much longer must I wait?  (And going into debt and financing a new computer for 5k is not the answer guys…)

events preceding His word…

•Monday, 2008 June 16 • Leave a Comment

16 June 2008 Scripture: 1 Kings 19: 11-13

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was and earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”


Several natural disasters preceded the actual coming of the word of the Lord to Elijah. Although the Lord was not in the wind, the earthquake or the fire, I believe that they happened to capture the attention of Elijah and also to provoke him to action. What you wouldn’t know by just reading the scriptures above is that the Lord told Elijah to leave the cave where he was hiding to save his life but he refused to move and leave.


When the Lord tells us to do something, we should do it. He would never lead us into temptation nor would he lead us to our slaughter. Our God is love and desires the best for us, so nothing that He would ever ask us to do would be to our detriment. Now onto another topic of natural disasters—I believe that the Lord is can speak to us and in fact is speaking to us through these natural disasters that we have been recently experiencing as a global community. I believe that things in the natural happen and mirror those things that are happening in the heavens…just think about it. The winds bring about new rains, they clear out pollution, they bring a refreshing to a hot day—in the spiritual, winds mean that change is coming and also it happens due to angelic traffic and activity. Earthquakes in the natural take place when there is a shaking…much like I believe that the heavens are shaking and the kingdom of darkness will be coming down and leveled to the ground. Fires in the natural consume everything in their path, much like the Holy Spirit will consume us and burn up anything within us that is not like Him. Fire brings with it heat and a burning! If we as a people of our God could only perceive Him in nature…He speaks to us through everything. His voice is not loud, rather it is quiet and we have to quiet ourselves to hear Him.


Lord, please continue to speak to me and NEVER STOP. Everyday I pray that I may become more and more sensitive to your leading and to cultivate the ability to perceive you in everything. Please help me to understand why You reveal earthquakes to me prior to them happening—all I know to do right now is to pray. Is there some other hidden meaning to the impressions that You continue to give to me? Why are so many natural disasters happening lately? What are you trying to tell us? What are you trying to tell me? I have so many questions.

Thank you for being forever faithful to me. Thank you for everything. Amen.

arise, come…

•Tuesday, 2008 June 10 • Leave a Comment

10 June 2008 Scripture:  Song of Songs 2:11-13

See!  The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.  The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.  Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”


The lover is speaking to his beloved, telling her that the seasons have changed.  The seeds that were planted during the fall and were watered during the winter are not blossoming forth in spring.  He beckons his beloved to come away with him.


 My God wants me to come away with Him.  He wants to love me and spend time with me and to tell me how beautiful I am to Him.  I can sense a shifting in my life and that the season that I was in is not starting to change and a new season is upon me.  My God wants to draw me away to Himself and wants to show me a love that I have never experienced or felt before.  There were seeds that were planted and watered in my life.  The seeds have budded, sprouted and grown and now the first fruits are beginning to form and mature.  These are exciting times, and I must say, there is nothing like knowing the Lord in a new and exciting way.  I have been in love with my Lord for some time now, but nothing compares to Him calling me to arise and come away with Him like this.  He has called me His darling, His beautiful one, and He wants to spend some intimate and alone time with me.  How romantic.  He surely knows how to capture my heart and captivate me.  He is singing a love song to me.


 Lord, I will arise and come.  I know that you are beckoning me to experience your love in a whole new way and it is exciting.  Take the lead.  Lead me where you will and I will surely follow You to the ends of the earth.  Thank you for being the lover of my soul and the keeper of my heart.  Amen.

days 1 and 2 at the travel channel academy – santa Barbara, ca…

•Friday, 2008 May 2 • 1 Comment

First let me start off this blog with praise to my God. He is the most amazing person that I know and He has blessed me beyond measure. Words are not enough to express all of my love and affection that I have for my Lord and my God! I wish that there was something more that I could do to show my love for Him, but all He requires of me is my heart and my worship.

I am moved to tears just thinking about the past 2 days of my life. I have learned so much and I have been sitting (literally) in the presence of kings. My desk, which is in the front row and in the very center, resides no less than 2 feet from the instructors’ desk.

For anyone who knows me, where I would sit in class would be far from the front and nowhere near the center—I’m more of a middle-to-back row and on the end kind of student…with that being said you can imagine my initial stress of being in the front and in the middle at that. BUT GOD knew exactly where I needed to sit and boy-o-boy did He set me up. Remember the instructors’ desk that I was talking about? Well, the main instructor of the class and school is Michael Rosenblum.

You may be asking yourself, “who the crap is Michael Rosenblum?” Don’t worry…I asked the exact question…and to be honest, I still don’t think I understand the full weight of who he is. (Trina…you may need to help me out in the comments section to let the people know). All that being said, I am in the midst of a major blessing and they are hitting me from the left and the right…something that I have never experienced at this level before. I am in a class that people and instructors that would literally pay hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars to get one-on-one time with them…let alone have them edit my actual film footage and give me pointers.

Look at the amazingness of my God! Ahhhhhhhhhhh…it’s just so good, I can’t contain it all.

So today, Friday, 2 May 2008, I edited and finished my first piece. As a class our work was critiqued by all of the instructors, of which were the VP of the Travel Channel and Michael Rosemblum. I could honestly say that with me not really understanding the weight and clout of these instructors, I wasn’t as nervous as I probably should have been. When my video was played I got to see it for the first time on the big screen and I witnessed, first hand, Michaels’ reaction. I was the one and only person that he has ALL positive praise and he asked me, “Have you ever done this before? This is really good,” to which I responded, “No, not at all.” This was not the first time in the class that someone asked me this exact question…and it’s really caught me by surprise. I am here to learn from the best and just take in all that I can before this experience ends, and here are these instructors asking me if I have ever done anything like this before. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, but it is both humbling and inspiring to know that people who have been in this business are complementing me and even pulling me aside privately to let me know they like my work and to tell me about other programs that I would be a great candidate for. All I can say is, WOW.

Guys, I am doing what I love…and I encourage anyone out there to follow their heart and do what they love. We only have one life and we might as well live it doing those things that the Lord, our God, has placed within us…those things that we have a never ceasing passion for. Whether it be world missions, business, traveling, dancing, singing, writing, or whatever it may be…just do it. Do what makes you happy…pursue what your desires are, for they are from our God and were placed in your heart for a reason.

I am looking forward to what tomorrow will bring—I am going to a Polynesian/Hawaiian dance studio that is right off the beach, to get some footage…and as an added bonus I am going to a local glass blowing studio to grab some awesome footage there as well. It’s only half over…2 more days to go.


(by the way…Trina…this is a pic of me on the phone with you…I accidentally did it up close…but I think its pretty nice anyway)

seed, time and harvest…

•Saturday, 2008 April 5 • Leave a Comment

The past couple of weeks have truly been a testing and proving ground for my faith in God.

While watching the Benny Hinn show one Monday, Oral Roberts dropped some serious nuggets on the topic of ‘Seed Time and Harvest Time.’ The one thing in particular I remember is when he said, “What most people think is wrong is sowing out of a need. Many people think that as Christians that we should not have needs because Jesus is all we need…but let’s use wisdom and be practical. If a man wants an apple, he will sow an apple seed into the ground. Time must pass to allow that seed to die in the ground but then it will rise and push through the soil to blossom into a beautiful and fruitful apple tree. If a man wants an orange, he will do the same and will yield the same. The same is true with money. If you need money, then sow money. The seed which you plant into good soil will rise up and yield more of that which you sowed. It’s that simple folks.” Those simple words of wisdom were words that I had never heard before in my life. Those simple words opened up a whole new world of possibilities to me…possibilities in and through my God. This man, Oral Roberts, was sitting there pouring out the wisdom of his 90 years and he was so ‘matter of fact’ about it. His words resonated deep within me and were planted in the soil of my soul and heart. His words were the words of our God…words and truth that I bought and would never sell.